Spending time with your baby is a rewarding experience as a new mother. After having dreamed of your time together during the long months of your pregnancy, you finally get to hold your baby in your hands, look at her smiling, and cuddle with her all day long! It is a beautiful feeling to notice something new every day, whether it is the way they hold your fingers or nap comfortably on your shoulders. And as they grow up, this list of adorable moments with them just keeps on getting longer. But while making time for all these moments, have you found a moment for yourself?
Finding a moment for ‘me time’ as a new mom can be very challenging, but it is really important. Not just for you, but for your baby and family too. Meaningful me time allows you to recharge yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally—so you can show up better. You can be more present for your loved ones when you prioritize your own self. However difficult that might sound to you at the moment, trust us, you can do this! Here are a few tips that can help you find me time as a new mom:
Start by creating small pockets of joy, then build it up
This is crucial! When you are struggling to find decent hours of sleep adjusting to your baby’s new sleeping routine, it can seem impossible to even think of taking some time to do something for yourself. That is why even 5 minutes is a good start. Before your baby wakes up, or as soon as she/he has fallen asleep, take out 5 minutes for yourself. Fill those 5 minutes with a small activity that you enjoy—a brisk walk in your terrace garden, listening to a soothing song, meditation, a few sets of quick stretches, or making yourself a hot cup of tea. All you need to aim for is to be fully present with yourself in those few minutes. Once you start doing this, you will also start noticing more opportunities for such times, and you can build these small pockets of joy into your daily life.
Have realistic expectations for yourself
Your time is precious. Even if dusting the window panes seems like an essential task to you, ask yourself if it really is. Whatever your previous housekeeping habits were, after a baby, it will serve you better if you start setting realistic expectations. Be very clear about needs and optional tasks, and you will be able to free up some time for yourself. For example, clean baby clothes are necessary, but well-folded clothes? You could probably skip that part if you’re feeling overwhelmed with ten other things to do. Allow yourself to be a little more relaxed when it comes to household chores.
Ask for help (or hire) without any guilt or shame
Moms are the primary caregivers in most families. This means they are expending more energy and time on caregiving than their partners. But you need not be doing everything alone. Raising a child does take a village, and you should ask for help without any guilt. Try to work out a system with your partner where you both get some child-free time for yourself. If you are a single mom, or if you and your partner are both working hectic jobs, consider hiring help. If it is possible, ask your relatives to take care of your baby for a few hours every week, so that you can schedule some fun activities with your partner or friends. Many moms feel guilty about asking for help, but this is nothing to be ashamed of. You are still a great mother if you take help, and you should remember that.
Cultivate hobbies that you can do at home
Being a mom takes up so much time and energy that many new moms feel like they are losing touch with their older identities. Were you a biking enthusiast before you had a baby? Did you travel a lot with your friends? While it may not be possible to do the same set of activities anymore, it is very much possible for you to cultivate hobbies that make you feel like yourself. Only this time, you’ll need to fine-tune your hobbies such that they can be done at home easily. Painting, reading, yoga, hula-hoops, Zumba, and at-home workouts are some options you can start exploring right away.
Plan vacations with baby-friendly travel options
If you have the travel bug, you can keep traveling even after becoming a mom. You will need to plan a lot more, but it can be a wonderful shared experience. Look for baby-friendly options at every stage—stay, amenities, food, and activities. Many hotels and resorts have kids' clubs with activities planned for your little ones. Look for services such as strollers, cribs, 24-hr on-call doctors, and baby food on-demand. Plan your stay during warmer weather to ensure the comfort of your baby.
Involve your kids in chores and make routine tasks more meaningful
Involving your 5-year-old in household chores will make him/her feel more important as well as more connected to you. You can ask your kids to do small tasks to help you, such as putting their toys back in the box or carrying their own plates to the sink after finishing a meal. You can also think of creative ways of doing certain activities together that are fun for both of you. Can you bake cookies together where your kid shapes the dough? Are you missing karaoke nights? Why not plan one with your little one for a change? Instead of feeling exhausted after doing the regular chores, if you can make the chores interesting, they can become your much-needed me time.
Schedule playdates with other moms
Why not make your child’s playtime fun for yourself too? While your kid plays with your friend’s baby, you both get to spend some time making adult conversation. You can schedule these playdates every week or every other week so that you block this time to connect with your friends without leaving your child alone.
Join a support group or parents club to socialize
Parenting is one of those experiences which you need to experience to understand. Parenting clubs and support groups offer you a safe space for you to connect with other new parents. With CITTA Care Club, we are trying to create a supportive community of parents where they can feel safe and relaxed enough to enjoy some quality downtime, either by themselves or with their partners and kids.
Finding me time as a mom is difficult, but not impossible! We hope that these tips will help you feel a little bit more in control of your time and help you to carve out those moments of peace and joy in your busy new-mom life.
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